If you’re in the market for some good, old-fashioned cowboy humor, you’ve come to the right place. This collection features over 100 of the funniest cowboy jokes and puns we could wrangle up. From clever wordplay to side-splitting stories, there’s something here for everyone.
Whether you’re a lifelong equestrian, a fan of Western lore, or simply appreciate a good chuckle, we think you’ll find plenty to enjoy.
Short Cowboy Jokes & One-Liners
– What do cowboys call midnight? High moon.
– How do you warm up a frozen cowboy? Yee thaw!
– What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
– What does it mean when a cowboy finds a horseshoe? His horse is walking around in its socks.
– What do you call a takeout low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A saddle light dish.
– Is a cowboy with his foot across the Canadian border in Canada? Just aboot.
– What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots? Tyrannosaurus Tex.
– How do German cowboys greet each other? “Audi, partner!”
– How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle? A tractor beam.
– What do cowboys tell their cows after an argument? “Turn the udder cheek and moooove on!”
– Why are cowboys bad at math? Because they’re always rounding up.
– How did the cowboy save so much money? His horse gave him a couple of bucks every day.
– Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick? Goth Brooks.
– What do ghost cowboys wear? BOO-ts!
– Where do cowboys cook their beans? On the range.
– Why did the cowboy want to buy a dachshund? To git along, little doggie.
– What’s it called when cowboys eat beans at high noon? A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.
– Why did the cowboy pinstripe his truck? He needed a pick-up line.
– What’s a cowboy’s least favorite car? A cattle-lack.
– I’m making a new cowboy film called The Sun. It’s set in the west!
– Why are cowboy hats curled up on the side? So they can fit three in the pickup.
– What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? Hopalong Cassidy.
– How do cowboys keep their cattle quiet? Press the “mooo-te” button.
– What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life? Reintarnation.
– What illness can cowboys catch from their horses? Bronc-itis.
– Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet? Maple stirrups.
– What do you call a cowboy who works in finance? The loan arranger.
– A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit and paper holster. He was arrested for rustling.
– What do you call a cowboy’s outfit? Ranch dressing.
– Why are cowboys prone to gambling? Because they’re always raising the steaks.
– What does a millennial cowboy say? Yeet Haw!
– How did the Catholic cowboy greet his priest for confession? “Howdy, pardoner!”
– What song did Kenny Rogers write after his cowboy boot broke? “You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Heel.”
– Why don’t cowboys tell secrets? The prairie has ears!
– Cowboys always know the ropes—especially when they’re lassoing!
– Why did the cowboy become a chef? He knew how to wrangle up a meal.
– What’s a cowboy’s favorite dessert? Horse-shoe pie!
– How do cowboys send letters? Pony Express!
– Why did the cowboy wear a bandana? It was necks-level cool!
– What did the cowgirl say at her second rodeo? “This ain’t my first rodeo!”
– What sweet does a happy cowboy enjoy? A Jolly Rancher!
– Did you hear about the cowboy film about the sun? It’s set in the west!
– Which cowboy film star doesn’t have any money? Skint Eastwood!
– Why didn’t the vegetarian cowboy complain about anything? They didn’t have any beef!
– What kind of car does a cowboy drive? Audi!
– What is a cowboy’s favorite American state? Moo York!
– What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo? Bronco-saurus!
– What’s the time when your cow sits on your cowboy hat? Time to get a new cowboy hat!
– Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on? He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!
– What does a teenage cowboy say when he throws somebody out of the saloon? “Yeet haw!”
– Why do cowboys always ride horses? Because they’re far too heavy to carry!
– Why did everybody think the cowboy was so funny? Because he was always horsing around.
– Three cowboys are riding in a truck, all dressed head-to-toe identically. Who’s the smartest? The one in the middle, because he doesn’t have to drive or open the gate.
– What did the young cowboy say when his sweet little dog went missing? “Doggone!”
– What did the cowboy say to the old man when he accused him of farting? “Darn tootin’.”
– Why was the cowboy sad? He couldn’t giddy-up.
– Cowboys don’t roll… They tumble.
– What did the cowboy say when he bought a yo-yo? “This ain’t my first yo-yo!”
– Two cowboys are lost in a desert. One sees a tree full of bacon and shouts, “It’s a bacon tree; we’re saved!” He runs toward the tree and gets shot. It wasn’t a bacon tree—it was a hambush.
– My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with cowboys. But that’s okay—this town ain’t big enough for the both of us.
– A Three-legged dog walks into a bar. He says, “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw.”
9 Longer Cowboy Jokes & Mini-Stories
1. The Telepathic Watch (Warning: more of an adult joke)
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually checks his watch.
Woman: “Is your date running late?”
Cowboy: “No, I just got this state-of-the-art watch, and I’m testing it.”
Woman: “What’s so special about it?”
Cowboy: “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.”
Woman: “Oh really? What’s it telling you now?”
Cowboy: “It says you’re not wearing any panties.”
Woman (giggles): “Well, it must be broken, because I am wearing panties!”
Cowboy (taps the watch): “Darn thing’s an hour fast.”
2. The Lady & the Cowboy in Montana
A lady sees a cowboy and says, “Are you really a cowboy?”
Cowboy: “Yes, ma’am. Born and raised right here in Montana. Worked a ranch since I was knee-high to a pup.”
Lady: “I’ve always wondered, why the big hats?”
Cowboy: “The wide brim keeps the sun off you when it’s hot and the rain off you when it’s rainin’.”
Lady: “Why do you all wear vests?”
Cowboy: “Keeps you warm, but leaves your arms free for ropin’ and workin’.”
Lady: “What about the chaps?”
Cowboy: “They keep the burrs and brambles off ya.”
Lady: “All that makes sense… but what I don’t understand is why you’re wearing tennis shoes?”
Cowboy: “Oh, that’s so folks don’t mistake me for a trucker!”
3. The Naked Cowboy
A cowboy is walking down Main Street wearing nothing but his boots and hat. The sheriff stops him.
Sheriff: “Sir, why in tarnation are you walking naked as a jaybird?”
Cowboy: “I can explain! See, I met this gal named Sally. Took her back to my place. She took her shirt off, so I took off mine. She took her pants off, so I took off mine. She whipped off her britches, I slipped outta mine. Then she laid down and hollered, ‘Go to town, cowboy!’ So… here I am!”
4. The Cowboy & the “Bacon Tree”
Two cowboys are lost in a desert. Suddenly, one sees a tree draped in bacon!
Cowboy #1: “It’s a bacon tree—we’re saved!”
He runs toward the tree… and gets shot at.
Cowboy #2: “That ain’t no bacon tree, partner. It’s a hambush!”
5. The Cowboy in the Cinema
A man watches a cowboy film in the cinema. A stagecoach pulls up, and the first cowboy exits, smacking his head on the doorframe.
Man 1 (to his neighbor): “I’ll bet you ten bucks that cowboy bangs his head again.”
Man 2: “You’re on.” The cowboy does indeed bang his head again.
Man 2 pays up. Then Man 1 says, “I feel bad takin’ your money. I saw this film last week.”
Man 2: “So did I, but I didn’t think he’d be daft enough to do it again!”
6. A Cowboy Walks Into a Bar
He orders two drinks which he downs slowly. When he was done with his drinks, he paid the bartender and walks out to see that his horse with all his stuff is missing.
He turns around, walks back in the bar, pulls his guns from his holster and shoots them in the air.
“Which ever one of you cow dung stole my horse better have it back by the time I finish my next drink, other wise I am going to have to do what I did in Texas. And trust me, I don’t want to ever do that again”.
He walks back to the bar, gets another drink, and slowly drinks it. The people in the bar started murmuring, talking amongst themselves and looking at the stranger with fear in their eyes.
The stranger finishes his drink, walks out and his horse was there where he left it. He got up on it, when the bartender and the bar patrons ran out after him.
The bartender said “Mister, we are sorry for what happened. But please tell us what happened in Texas after somebody stole your horse?”
The stranger looked at him and said, “I had to walk home”.
7. A Cowboy Walks Into Another Bar
A rough looking cowboy walks into a bar.
He sits down and sternly says to the bartender, “Pour me a whisky before the trouble starts.”
The bartender pours the drink which the cowboy quickly downs.
The cowboy belches and says, “Pour me another before the trouble starts.”
The bartender quickly obliges and the cowboy downs the drink.
Again this happens a third time.
The bartender asks him, “Hey man, how would you like to pay for these drinks?”
The cowboy says, “And now the trouble starts.”
8. A Cowboy Likes Expensive Whiskey
A man walks into a bar and points to the liquor on the top shelf.
“Give me ten shots of your most expensive whiskey.”
The barman serves him his order, and the man proceeds to start slamming back the whiskeys, one after another.
“Whoah, that’s good stuff there,” said the barnman. “Don’t you think you should slow down.”
“You’d be drinking like this if you had what I had,” the man says, in between shots.
“Oh, I’m sorry. What do you have?”
“About five dollars.”
9. A Cowboy Hitching His Horse
A cowboy is hitching his horse in front of the saloon when a man storms out with a pistol. The cowboy walks into the bar, past a barfly with a half-empty drink, orders a beer and asks the barfly
“Who’s the guy who just stormed out looking for trouble?”
The barfly responds “Oh him? That’s Jake the Killer, he’s the meanest gun in the west with a bounty of a hundred dollars on him. I’m the lawman sent to deliver the bounty to whoever shoots him down.”
The cowboy says “A hundred dollars! Hold my beer!” And runs out the door. The cowboy shoots Jake dead and comes back into the bar to collect his pay. The Barfly is waiting for him and drinking the cowboy’s beer.
The cowboy says “I shot him down, give me the hundred dollars and my beer.”
The barfly responds “Sir I don’t know who you are or what your talking about, but this is my beer. If you have a problem with that we can take it outside after I finish my drink.”
The cowboy storms out of the bar with his pistol in his hands and a mean look in his eyes.
Just then another cowboy walks into the saloon, orders a beer, and asks the barfly who that dangerous looking man is.
The barfly sets down his half empty mug of beer and says, “Oh him? That’s Jake the Killer.”
Cowboy Puns (General & Themed)
– I’m roping in all the good vibes today!
– You’ve got me tied up in knots, partner.
– This outfit is spur-fect for a wild west night.
– Always lassoing up some fun!
– Giddy-up, let’s ride into the sunset!
– You’re stirr-up-ing my feelings, cowboy.
– I’m totally head over boots for you.
– I’m a little horse today—must be all the cowboyin’.
– Time to rein in those wild thoughts!
– Always hoofing it in style!
– I’ve got a ranch of ideas, and they’re all golden.
– Feeling buck-wild today!
– You’re the yee to my haw.
– Just horsing around with my cowboy crew.
– Can’t saddle my excitement!
– Ready to gallop into the weekend.
– Got my boots on—time to ride!
– You spur me on to do great things.
– Just wrangling up some good times.
– I’m feeling pretty mane-stream right now.
– This cowboy’s always in the saddle!
– You can’t fence me in; I’m a free ranger!
– What do you call a gassy cowboy? Wyatt Burp
– Roping in the best times, one lasso at a time.
– Got a saddlebag full of dreams.
– Nothing but smooth riding ahead!
– Feeling bronc-tastic today!
– Yee to my haw, always.
– I’ve got my cowboy boots on and nothing can stop me.
– Spur-of-the-moment decisions are the best!
– This town ain’t big enough for my puns.
– I tip my hat to a wild adventure!
– Under this hat lies a true cowboy spirit.
– Hats off to a day full of yeehaw vibes!
– Feeling head over boots for this hat!
– My hat holds all my wildest cowboy dreams.
– A hat like this deserves a rodeo every day.
– Got my cowboy hat on and ready to ride!
– Hats are temporary, but cowboy swagger is forever.
– This hat’s my ticket to the wild west.
– Life’s better under a cowboy hat.
That’s it for our cowboy jokes. Do you have any we should add to list? Let us know in the comments.
